Oye! Break up hua ya nahin ?
You know which is the most useless thing inside every human being?
Your answer might be ‘Appendix’/ ‘Armpit Hair’ but you could always get rid of either of them. I’m talking about the ‘Filmi feelings’ & ‘Extra Emotions’ we all have. We breed things that need to be united with the dustbin at the first chance available!
One of them is GUILT. If you want to go on a trip, go on a Goa trip. Don’t go on a Guilt trip. It is not worth the time, effort & energy.
My work is such that it makes me travel for bigger parts of the months. Because of this – there are months when -as a father I hardly am able to spend time with my son. I have two options: 1) To feel guilty about it when I am working / travelling / trying to sleep or 2) Accept it and THEN be 100% with my son on the days when I am there at home. I choose latter as it helps me prevent myself from exhausting my mental energy from useless guilt. Unnecessary guilt is like running your car on a zero traffic highway with hand brakes on. The speed will be hardly any when you could have driven at even permissible limit of 100.
When you begin to feel ‘SORRY’ for yourself – you begin diluting your inner, hidden power. ‘Jab koi Cheez Toot Nahin Sakti ; Usko Pighlane ki koshish bhi kyun karein’
Even Paramhansa Yogananda in his biography said- ‘The greatest of sins is to call oneself a sinner’.
When we make ourselves believe that we are guilty about something, that guilt becomes the shadow that doesn’t leave our side even in darkness, let alone light.
One reason why we must Not feel guilty about stuff in life is: ‘Because at that time we thought it was the best decision that we were making’. Now even if in retrospect that decision came out to be wrong- it is OK. I purchased a premium car in 2004 instead of a house. Today the same house would have appreciated some 5 times but the car has depreciated to 1/5th. I used to feel bad about my investment decision and somewhere guilty too. I decided – ‘I will not feel guilty’. It is further important to immediately pick up a lesson. Again in 2010 and 2012 temptations hounded me to upgrade myself to a more premium car but I picked up properties in both the years.
Trust me we don’t need to wear those ugly scars of guilt. Feeling guilty is useless because guilt can never be that change agent in us. It only renders us more and more useless.
Why should a lady feel even slightly guilty of spending an extra money on things of her choice like a spa treatment etc ; especially when she is already giving 100% to her family, work etc. What is the point of feeling guilty about not studying when you are already inside a movie theatre or when you are on a date? Why should you feel ashamed / guilty of studying at a lesser known college; now that when you are already studying there?
‘Accept yourself; the way you are.’ Agreed there are a million ways in which we could have been better. But trust me – there definitely are a million ways – how we could have been worse too. I am married. I travel the world and meet so many many pretty women. Thoughts of a few of them possess me. I am a mortal man. Should I feel guilty about even ‘Thinking about them’? No ! I have decided I would not. Reasons:- ‘ I could have been worst had I been sleeping around’. I definitely could have been a saint – if I were to think of all women other than my wife as ‘sisters’. I fall in neither of the categories. I am in my own category.
So! When I am not committing a sin and when I also know that no single bone in my body feels brotherly about pretty women around – then why the hell should I feel guilty! I have accepted myself – ‘the way I AM in so many ways’. And trust me – I feel lighter after doing this. A flirty look doesn’t make me feel guilty now – if I receive it or even if I give it at places of hormonal importance e.g. Airports etc. Why feel guilty – when the moment is so temporary.
You might say – ‘This Guilt only shall prevent me from becoming Shiny Ahuja one day’. I ask myself – ‘Am I at the beginning stage of becoming Shiny Ahuja because I feel less Guilty ‘?
Answer:- No ! Because by feeling lesser guilty and by accepting myself ‘the way I am’ – I am saving and hence creating an extra energy which would have got dissipated as ‘Guilt energy’ otherwise. Now I use the same energy to ‘Know myself more’, ‘Keep myself growing more’ and surprisingly – ‘Keep myself in check more’.
That Saved energy makes me a better man who thinks that he has an extra energy over others to take better decisions. Let me confess – ‘ I feel I have become a better man – after I have started feeling ‘zero / lesser guilty’ about a lot of things – that I should not be – in my daily life.
Guilt never leads to change. Hence is never useful. The moment we repent our actions and take that step to change it, the guilt changes to ‘knowledge of self’.
One of our favorite ‘GUILTS’ is our inability to ‘make people around us happy’. Trust me- it is the most hopeless guilt category. ‘Khuch bhi kar lo – ‘People around will never be Happy. Finding faults is their favorite, first reaction. So ! Better keep / save your energies for- ‘Inspiring’ the ones who believe in YOU; rather than feeling guilty about– ‘Mujhse log khush kyun nahin rehte etc etc ‘ , ‘I should have not said this to him / her…’
Chuck every feeling that pushes you back in life. Make a promise to yourself that instead of feeling ‘guilt’ you will go ‘build’ upon those precious lessons and emerge as a better person. I did it. And…
I feel free…
I enjoy the moments more …
I enjoy ‘whatever is happening around me more’
I savor the taste of my favorite ‘Paapri Chaat’ in the evenings more because now I enjoy my chaat rather than feeling guilty about some mistake I did in the day a few hours back…
I broke up with ‘GUILT’ because it is- One Life! I have decided to live it 100% .
When are you? Rise & Shine…
P.S.:- You have a friend who loves his/her guilt trips: Do SHARE this Blog post on FB / Twitter. SHARING is CARING.
May be you’ll also want to read :- 5 reasons why you should INVITE Akash Gautam to your Organization/School/College